How Birth Control Pills Led Me to Believe I Was In Control of My Life and My Body

Gibbs thoroughly and thoughtfully provides a scientific and sociological history of birth control, while addressing some of the ethical questions raised by the little tablet, swallowed by more than 100 million women worldwide every day. Gibbs sets up a strong contrast in how people respond to the Pill: "Its supporters hoped it would strengthen marriage by easing the strain of unwanted children; its critics still charge that the Pill gave rise to promiscuity, adultery, and the breakdown of the family."

As a Christian who has taken the Pill intermittently for over a decade, I find myself on both sides of the divide, caught between an ethic of hospitality and of stewardship, between individual responsibility and collective consciousness, between traditional family values and feminist theory. Reading Gibbs's article didn't answer all my questions, but it forced me to admit that the questions needed asking.

A year or so into our marriage, my husband, Peter, and I went away for a weekend. In the middle of an expensive dinner -- both of us content with the "just us"-ness of our lives -- I said to him, "Do you ever think about never having kids?"

"All the time," he replied.

We were young. We hadn't had sex before marriage. I wouldn't have called it entitlement then, but in retrospect I admit that I felt entitled to "my" life with "my" husband. Kids were an afterthought, something that might come, someday, if we felt like it, and if a convenient time arose.

We both eventually changed our minds. We realized that kids are never convenient. More, I wanted to see Peter become a father. I wanted to give something of myself to a child. We wanted to have a family. But although we changed our minds, we didn't change our perspective on having children. When I went off the Pill, we still thought we were in control.

The birth of our daughter, Penny, when I was 28 years old was our first indication that the words control and children should rarely be used in the same sentence. Penny was diagnosed with Down syndrome two hours after she was born. I've written elsewhere about that experience, but what strikes me now is how much my thoughts about using birth control were informed by the idea that my body is in my control. God comes into the picture on my terms. Now, as I worry about the dehumanizing consequences of in vitro fertilization and prenatal diagnosis and the abortion of unwanted babies, I wonder whether birth control is just one step in a staircase of choices that leaves us with the illusion that humans are products to be consumed or discarded rather than gifts given, created, by God.

Click here to continue reading.