Why Our Generation Doesn't Care About Prop 8, by Jonathan Merritt

When Proposition 8 was ruled "unconstitutional" by a California judge, Christian leaders let out a collective cry. Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council vowed to keep fighting, and the American Family Association called it an "absolutely outrageous and unconscionable ruling." Same-sex marriage has long been a centerpiece issue in the culture wars, and one might say that the Prop 8 debate serves as another call to arms for many conservative Christians.

One demographic strangely absent from this debate is younger Christians. Though we don't normally shy away from advocacy--see Darfur, clean water projects, orphan care, poverty and missions--our generation seems unwilling to fight this battle. According to a 2009 poll by the Pew Forum, 65 percent of religious Americans aged 65+ oppose gay marriage while only 45 percent of those ages 18-29 do. A 2008 poll reported that 52 percent of young evangelicals now say they support either gay marriage or civil unions.

But why is this issue shifting among young people? What is causing this generation to see things differently than the last?

Gay Friends. One of the chief reasons young Christians aren't fighting against gay marriage is they have so many more gay and lesbian friends. According to a 2008 Public Religion Research poll, 37 percent of evangelicals ages 18-34 said they have a close friend or relative who is gay. Only 16 percent of evangelicals 35+ said the same. Many of us are now standing next to our gay friends asking, "Aren't they still the neighbors that Jesus asked us to love?" It is easy to oppose a nebulous "agenda," but young people are finding it increasingly difficult to take up arms against their loved ones.

Tired Rhetoric. Many young people (and older, for that matter) are simply weary of the insensitive, hateful speech. The present debate is often marked by speaking without listening and devoid of any respect, mutual or otherwise. Boiling down the biblical position to bumper sticker clichés and screaming past our gay and lesbian neighbors doesn't strike our generation as particularly loving, not to mention Christlike. As a result, some of the younger faithful have left the conversation altogether.

Neglected Hypocrisy. A common point made by the gay marriage supporters I've spoken with is that heterosexuals are doing as much to denigrate marriage as homosexuals. To their point, the incomprehensible divorce rate--even within the most conservative Christian denominations--is damning. If we truly believe that marriage as defined by traditionalists (one man and one woman for life) is under assault, why isn't there a Christian uprising to reform divorce laws? Could it be that homosexuals have become the target of a Christian political agenda rather than one part of an ongoing conversation about what God intends for us in covenant marriage relationships?

Many churches speak about homosexuality in terms of sin and judgment but about divorce in terms of forgiveness and grace. When a same-sex couple goes down to the courthouse to petition for a marriage certificate, the Christians show up with sandwich boards. Do they also show up when their congregants go to the same courthouse to petition for an "unbiblical divorce"? Likely not. And the hypocrisy on this issue has not escaped the next generation.

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